


A few days

by LunaOnMars



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Ai gets lonely, He’s trying his best, M/M, Sad Robot Hours
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 15:23:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16088849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaOnMars/pseuds/LunaOnMars
Summary: Ai is having one hell of a mental breakdown while Ranmaru is away on a 3 day work trip.





	A few days

It was only supposed to be a few days. I thought I could handle three days without him here but I can’t. I can’t stand this emptiness that wells up inside me. A voice that I almost forgot existed started speaking again. 

__  
“You’re not meant to be happy”  


__  
“All of this will disappear one day so what’s the point?”  


__  
“He probably doesn’t even love you back anymore”  


The voice that sounds just like mine. I can’t move. I can barely breathe. Nothing but grief and sadness fill every second. I just want to disappear if he’s not here. 

I know I’m starving. I know I haven’t slept. I know I could crash at any moment but the pain is distracting enough to almost make me forget he’s gone. 

I check my phone for the hundredth time to see if there’s any new message. A sign that he still cares. I’m acting so clingy but my head is incapable of thinking straight. 

I close my eyes knowing I won’t sleep. Time doesn’t feel real. Maybe it never was. Maybe I’ll be stuck like this forever. Maybe I was right from the beginning. Maybe “love” just a glitch in my programming.

Why does it hurt so much? Being a part this long makes me realize, he’s my everything. And taking him away turns me into nothing…

This loneliness feels to familiar. It feels to similar to pain I felt long ago. The first time I realized I was alone. Cold. Hollow. Shaking. Breaking. There’s nothing. 

My thoughts are all interrupted by a ring. The doorbell. Suddenly I’m filled with light. Thinking that finally he’s back home. I sprint out of the bed to the door and open it. Only to instantly sink back into the dark. Reiji and Natsuki stood at the door. Both seeming as chipper as ever.

“We heard you were alone, and thought you’d like some comp-“ Reiji started talking but paused. Panic spread across his face. He instantly noticed my current state of wellbeing. “Aiai are you okay?” He sounded scared. I nodded. Suddenly I felt all the fatigue catch up to me. My eyes felt so hard to keep open and I could tell my legs were about to give in. To change my previous response, I shook my head.

“Aiai have you been taking care of yourself? At all?” Reiji’s voice seemed uncertain. I shook my head again. All the pent up emotions starting to spiral beyond my control. The two invited themselves in, it’s not like I would have told them to leave or anything.

Natsuki guided me over to the couch in the living room. Sitting me down then proceeding to sit down next to me. I didn’t even have to look at his face to know he was worried. They both were- but I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just panicked. Alone. Empty. 

“Ai-chan if you’re not feeling well you can talk to us…” Natsuki’s voice spoke with honesty. He was just trying to help me, so was Reiji. I felt so tired. I felt so exhausted. Why was it so hard to be sad and alone?

“I’m sorry.” I whispered an apology. I’m just a burden to everyone. They’re having to waste time to take care of me. “Why are you apologizing? There’s nothing to be sorry for.” 

Yes there is. I’m so useless. Why do I even exist? Why am I even alive? There’s nothing successful about me. Only failure. Only disaster. I started crying. I cried for what was probably the 20th time these few days. I cried and poured out all these thoughts that have been welling up inside my brain.

The two showed obvious empathy and pity toward me, but I didn’t deserve it. Tears kept falling down my face as I just felt everything break. I saw no reason to even let myself keep going. I just want things to be normal. I just want to sleep. I just want to be able to function like a normal person- Or at least feel like I’m normal.

I was so weak from not looking after myself. I felt my knees growing weaker by the second. All of my energy was poured into my tears and pathetic gasps for breath. Everything started to feel vaguely comfortable. As my head started spinning more than before. I couldn’t tell if I was feeling relieved or if all of this pain was starting to mix into some sick form of relief. 

How long can I keep up this vicious cycle of staying awake all night alone with nothing but my own mind, my greatest enemy. I just want things to go back to normal. I just want Ran to be home. I just want to curl up on the couch next to him and watch a movie and laugh. I want those moments back. It’s only been a few days, but I’m not sure how much longer I can last like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I know this is a shitty place to end it, but I have a draft for a better ending. If there’s demand for it from people other than my wife I’ll post it.


End file.
